There’s an interesting contrast between the way the Newsround survey on childhood is reported by Newsround and The Telegraph.
Newsround’s coverage focuses on the positive:
It seems most of you feel pretty good about things and think Britain is a great place to live.
How do we know that? Well, Newsround carried out a special kids’ survey to mark our 35th birthday.
And one of the biggest findings was that most of you are happy with your lives and yourselves.
We asked 1,000 kids, aged six to 12, from all over the country and more than nine out of 10 of you said that that you liked the way you are.
They do say that it isn’t all good news and point to the lack of time that young people have with their parents and that there are things in life that scare children.
The Telegraph on the other hand is concerned about the role of fathers:
One child in four does not consider their father to be close family, according to a study published today.More boys view footballers as role models than their fathers and only one child in 10 said they would go to their father first if they had a problem.
Even among traditional families, fathers are much more in the background of children’s lives than their mothers, the research carried shows.
I think this is of interest to us because of risk and protective factors identified as being associated with future problems with drugs. We know that strong family bonds and family involvement in the lives of their children are important protective factors.
On which note I see that Parentline Plus have some tips for parents of teenagers:
Tips for the Christmas/New Year party season include:
- Before your teen heads for a night out, talk to them about not getting too drunk, suggesting they also drink lots of water, maybe alternating between alcoholic drinks and water.
- Talk to them about the importance of sticking with friends and not putting themselves in a vulnerable position, for example by getting a cab home alone. Also, ensure they have enough money, their mobile. etc.
- Keep on about the importance of using an effective method of contraception to protect against unwanted pregnancy and STIs. If things don’t go to plan and they do have unprotected sex, make sure they know that they can get emergency contraception, free from their GP or local clinic within 72 hours. Emergency contraception is very safe and effective but works better the sooner it is taken.
They have some more general tips as well:
- Keep an open mind with your teen and listen to their point of view.
- Change the way you talk to them. If they only ever hear nagging they will stop listening. A chat before they go out or disappear to their room can make a real difference.
- Decide when to stand firm, when to negotiate, when to let go. Your concerns about drugs and sex are more important than your feelings about the clothes they choose to wear. Your children need to know this.
- Agree a bottom line with your partner or other carers and stick to it.
- Understand why they may be behaving badly. They may be moody, aggressive or angry because they can’t put their worries into words.
- Don’t take it personally. Teenagers often hit out at the people they most love and trust – not because they hate you but because they feel confused, stressed and uncertain.
- Remember what is was like to be a teenager. Did you fight; argue with your parents about staying out late and what you wore? It is all part of developing a separate identity.
- Don’t be nosey. Teenagers will clam up if you insist on knowing every detail about their lives. Build up trust and show you respect their privacy and they will tell you more.
And digging around their website I also found their tips for talking about drug issues:
- If you find out or suspect your teenager is using drugs, don’t panic. Accusing, arguing or threatening won’t help. Wait until a quiet time and say, “I’d like us to talk. I’m worried you might be using something. Will you tell me what’s happening?”.
- It helps to start talking with your children about drugs before they’re teenagers and to encourage their school to do so too. Check that the information is clear and adequate and that they have the opportunity to discuss and explore the issues.
- Whether or not your child uses drugs depends on a range of factors that parents can influence, such as their self esteem, your own attitudes to and use of drugs and alcohol, and opportunities.
- Many teenagers use drink and drugs because they think everyone else is doing it. Discuss this and rehearse with them ways of resisting pressure.
- Teenagers may start using drugs because of problems or anxieties that are overwhelming them. Get support on dealing with these issues by calling Parentline Plus, free, on tel: 0808 800 2222, or speaking to specialist agencies such as the National Drugs helpline on tel: 0800 77 66 00, Young Minds on tel: 0800 018 2138 or FRANK.
- Get drugs into perspective and learn about the different types and their effects.
- Teenagers tend to live up, or down, to your expectations. The more positive, loving, respectful and affirming you are to them, the more they will respond and listen to you.
- Being the parent of a teenager is hard work. Allow time for yourself and don’t feel totally responsible for your children’s choices or well-being.
Filed under: parents, risk and protective factors , Newsround, Parentline Plus
